<p>I have been the worst blogger of late, a long while if I am totally honest. But I will be better ( hopefully- I am only human) .<br>
But that is not why I am writing.<br>
Sitting at home I am watching embarrassing bodies, cringing in horror at a prolapsed uterus undergoing key hole surgery, but however I am writing tonight about the pip implant issue. These implants have made the headlines of late, and I have no idea why but it seems to have really affected me. I would not wish what has happened to some women on anyone. But I think it is still not widely known. I am lucky to have natural large breasts but I woukd consider a reduction and an implant even at this young ages because no amount or chest presses will undo what a lifetime of bad eating, and gravity, but I would make sure that if I wanted to get this process done I would definitely research what techniques I would undergo.

I am terribly sorry

I am sitting here dusting the cobwebs off of my blog (not literally of course)
because I have negelcted to update for more than 2 months!! And that is unforgivable!!
I do have my reasons though!!

I was admitted into hospital with a gall stone and even though it was only a 4 day stay it has pretty much changed my life!!
I have a diet to follow I'm meant to have a diet of less than 5% fat- which I am doing reasonably well at but I have had a lot of fall throughs!!
I should keep it up though because the pain I experienced is one I do not want to have to go through till it is the stitches left over from the op to remove the gall bladder!!
I have also been mad busy with college there is so much to get done and so little time!!
But I will keep plodding on a hopefully find time to fill in the blog on a much more regular occurance!!

Two things have entered my life since my last blog- one being my gorgeous hamster holly!
She is my pride and joy and i love her very much- even if she has a short life expectancy she will have a brilliant and much loved life!
I also got a new car which i called grace...
She is a lovely little vauxhall corsa, and an eco car which makes me fell like I am giving some thing to the world- especially when filling her up with petrol at £135.9 a litre!!
But never mind tonight I shall forget all my troubles and will watch The crimson petal and the white which is a drama adaptation of the book of the same name by michael farber!! brilliant author brilliant-ish drama!!
Till then adieu
xxx

Lifetimes of Miss Maymi 1.7

Just recently I have been absorbed into the world of literature and films.
I just cannot get through the day without picking up a copy of my lastest escape route and reading till I feel peace and tranquility feel it's way into the recesses of my mind- but sometimes I read for longer till my eyes droop and I sleep, my mind still engaged in the words of fiction.
See even my wiriting is changing because of the books I read!!!
Over the last two weeks I have had tonsilitis which is a pain in the bum- especially now because with all my assesments coming up I need to be healthy, not zapped to the core, so the only thing I can comprehend doing in a day is sleeping!!!
But any way over those two weeks I managed a day trip to visit Plymouth uni with my gorgeous friend Roma, but apart from that lounged in bed or on the sofa!!
(I also somehow managed to lose 4 lbs in this week!! How I will never fathom but YAY!!)
((And going back to college made me put on a pound!! I did more this week than last week!!))
ANYWAY
All this time i was watching movies and reading books.
My reading list for those weeks has come back looking like this-
Stolen by Lucy Christopher
P.S I love you by Cecelia  Ahern
Pray for Silence by Linda Castillo
Small Wars by Sadie Jones
Crazy in Love  by Chrissie Manby
And...
New Moan by Stephfordy Mayo
And then the movies I watched- and those which I haven't quite got all the way through!!
There is Kick Ass which has some of the best scenes I have even seen- think the scene near the end with the white light, pure genius!!
The Lovely Bones which brought me to tears, which isn't hard sometimes, but in this movie I scared myself by never wanting an antagonist to die so badly, and there to be retribution for what has been done!!
Inception- Brilliant. Containing one of the best fight scenes I have seen in a while.
Nine which was stunning but just left me feeling a bit deflated, I felt like it needed more!
Princess and the frog, which I found charming and funny at times but i do feel that disney has lost the magic that made DISNEY!! and all those movies classics! I think thats why i waited this long to watch it too!!
An Education which is a really good movie but I was very shocked at some of what waas used- if you know it only one word- Banana!!!
So that has been my life over the last two weeks.
Apart from one very messy night last week where, well lets just say it got messy!!

Lifetimes of Miss Maymi 1.6

I haven't had much time for my blog, the last time I was on here I was 19 years old.
I am now 20.
Thats a big number to me, a whole new decade, but a whole new bucket full of disappointment.
I fell like I have less friends, or have lost a point with some, I have made some stronger connections, but I've drifted I know, but I just don't know how to fix it, or maybbe I don't want to.
This saddens me, because it shows that life is still passing me by.
All the people I am in college with have life plans- I don't.
 4 years of college
and I am still stuck in a rut.
There is only one thing I want to do- stage management.
I  thought my desire for learning and a career was in acting, but I don't want that any more.
I did a backstage tour at the Drury Lane theatre in London a while back.
It was such an amazing chance, and while there I stood on the edge of the stage looking out across the red seating taking in the vastness of the space infront of me.  
The amazing Jonathan Goodwin said to me "wonderful isn't it"
My answer was "I can see myself looking out in 5 years time"
On reflection, was I telling him what I thought he wanted to hear, what I wanted to believe??
I actually feel depressed at college when they talk about going to uni and going to auditions, I don't want to do this, but they are all passing me by, growing as human beings. While I could be perfectly happy staying at McDonalds, and living at home!!

Scared of change?

I don't know what I want and at 20 this scares me!!

It's only 11 months till I turn 21, and will anything change by then or will life just keep passing me by??

On a good note

I am trying to change this- I have recently decided to apply for work experience at the west end shows- fingers crossed this happens soon.

I also have my CV all written up ready for the world of work in May.

I will make a difference!! 

Lifetimes of Miss Maymi 1.5

I have negelcted my blog for the last few days- which I am terribly upset about, seeing as though I am nearly 3 days into the New Year!
I had a good week, I got back to work and loved seeing all the people I missed so much- I also went clubbing, I went out on the 28th with Tommy and Roma, and had a wonderful time- COMPLETELY SOBER!!! I loved it and it was a realisation that I don't actually have to drink when I go out! I met some lovely people including one guy called Darren he became the love of mine and Roma's life before we dropped him to his flat, it was such a shame he was gay!! I am gonna keep contact with him though because he was just a genuinely lovely person- so I must also say thank you to the crazy scottish man that meant we had a conversation starter!
On the 29 th I was back in brighton again and this time I was drinking it up with my friends Punch and Pandy! I did drink this time, and had just as much fun, but it was a shame more people didn't come and we didn't stay out for longer!!
I had a different New Years to any I have had before- they are usually about drinking and seeing in the New Year in a partially concious state, last year I got alcohol poisoning which wasn't a high point of 2010, and I am very ashamed of that fact!
But this year I didn't go to any parties because I was feeling a bit under the weather, so I went to a friends house and we actually had a quite chilled time, apart from some of the antics we got up to- including driving to McDonald's at 2am!!!! And because I know that he may read this- I want to appologise to Luke for nearly putting him through a wall- but in all fairness you did say jump!!! However the lump over my left eye I will not forgive you for- even if i did compare you to Martin in the hat sunglasses get up!!
I have worked the last two days and tried to sleep off my illness- which isn't working!!
But tomorrow is my birthday-I'm turning 20 and am a little bit scared about the year ahead!! It seems like such a big future!
And just when I though I'd made it to my birthday unscathed- I get hit by a car!
Oh well I'll just see in 20 with a limp!!

Lifetimes of Miss Maymi- Chapter 1.4

It is the end of my christmas weekend, I had a lovely time, and I even cracked into my cream soda, I may even drink the whole bottle this year!
The eve of christmas was fairly boring I had work all afternoon in which nothing substancial happened.
I then went to midnight mass with my mum, it was weird being in church. I haven't been in a while and where I used to go often, I became one of the people that turn up to the special services.
The big day then came and I got lots of lovely presents, which I am very grateful for and will enjoy using.
However it is now the end of chirstmas- all the food has been eaten or thrown away and we feel full for days.
I do have christmas time with my dad's side of the family tomorrow, after spending the big day with my mother's side. But for me christmas is over- even before it really began.
I know that it's over because everything, as it does every year, goes back to normal. People go back to work, and we eat normal foods that don't take all day to prepare.
Today my aunt and cousin went back home. I really enjoyed my day with them, but it's always tinged with sadness because of the knowledge that they will be going back home, and there is no way of knowing for certain when I will see them again in the future.
Or will they, like me and going to church, be seen only of special occasions.
But because I love them it's hard to say goodbye everytime.
Tomorrow will be fun, but in the back of my mind there will be two family members that I feel should be there, by dad's brother and his wife. I can't remember the last time I saw them, which makes me sad- I know that thye live too far away just to pop down when they feel like, but I love them and miss them also, and will think of them tomorrow.
For me christmas is not only a time to enjoy with those that are there on the day, whether it be family or friends, but it's also a time to remember those that have passed.
I miss all of my family that have passed away, even those that I maybe didn't know very well at all- they wer still my family, still part of my past.
But there is one person I miss the most of all at christmas, and I will never ever stop missing them.
I am reminded of this person everyday, from when I first open my eyes.
I am reminded by the cuddly grey bear that I was first given when I was newborn.
Most people would say why keep the bear in sight if it hurts to remember- but for me it means that they are not forgotten, not even for one day.
This blog may be really saddening, especially not long after the christmas period, but it is important for me to remember my family always, I am who I am because of them.
And maybe next year the memories may be more faded, but they will still be part of my past, even if it is not spoken about.
So for another year, I hope everyone had a merry christmas, and will have a happy new year, and many more to come.

Lifetimes of Miss Maymi- Chapter 1.3

Today was a day when I have packed more into it than I can remember- I also drove my car for the first time in 6 days! Oh how I love you Tim <3
I started my day with finishing my christmas shopping, which I did with Mr Tom Chichester and his darling friend Kieran joined us.
However we did not get off to the best of starts- I went into town at half 10 to be at the bandstand for 11 (I got an eyebrow wax in the extra half an hour!!) and there I waited for a couple of minutes, but no Thomas.
It was cold so I started my shopping in New Look, and after 10 minutes I called Thomas- not only was I concerned about him because of his latness and he's usually very good- but because I needed help buying shoes!!
He didn't pick up his phone!! I was fuming! But let me backtrack slightly- he had text me in the morning saying could we meet at 11 rather than 10, which was fine with me! But then he sent me the one text he should probably wish he could take back, it said I think I'm still drunk!!
So not only was he late to see me, he would be hanging like a mofo.
I wouldn't have minded at all about the drunkness, but he had the cheek to be late, and still drunk!
I chose and brought the shoes all by myself!
I was close to sending him a text saying do not bother coming into town I don't need your help!!
But I didn't and it was quite fun in the end!
I think Kieran made it better!
=D
However later on in the day I had work!
I actually quite like my job, I think it's the people more than the job itself!
McDonalds is a quite stressful environment to work in, there are a lot of high expectations (if I'm the only one who thinks this then please can someone tell me so I can chill out a bit!!) from the public, which we strive to meet.
I wouldn't be able to cope if the people I worked with were not the most amazing (if very crazy) bunch of people I know- they always can lift my mood and they don't try. I think I genuinely just like being around them!
Anyways work has finished for the day and it's two more sleeps till the big day- but I'm very worried, although my christmas wrapping injected a bit of christmas spirit into my life, I am not feeling it, there is not excitement, just bleurg, where I should be bursting with festive joy!
Maybe this year I have left it all a bit too late- or have I passed out of my Peter Pan years and into adulthood, not to experience the chrismassy feeling until I have children of my own who rub their festive spirit off on me!
I don't want to loose the feeling of christmas though- thats like dying a bit inside!
D=